How to Find a Mentor for Yourself?

It is not secret that each of us, consciously or not, is under someone’s influence. In Christianity, the concept of influence, discipleship, or mentorship is priced very highly. We intentionally influence one another and seek influence. What for? For our spiritual growth! Spiritual growth does not happen in a vacuum, but in healthy accountability, through a good example to follow, in a positive atmosphere where a person is encouraged by others to live a righteous and God-devoted life!

But how do we find such people who will positively influence us, help us grow, and change so that we become more like Jesus Christ?

Let’s begin by remembering who a disciple of Jesus Christ is. He is a follower! He follows and imitates the example left by Christ Himself:

“For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.” (1 Pet. 2:21)

From this verse we should make an important observation—a disciple of Christ is not someone who made a one-time decision to follow His example, but someone who lives a continual lifestyle of discipleship!

Now, here are specific, practical steps toward mentorship:

1. Pray. God knows what we need, but He still commands us to ask (Matt. 6:5-8). In prayer, God will already begin working on our hearts showing us how much we truly desire mentorship and whether we are ready to change.

2. Serve others. If you are a Christian, you have God’s Spirit living in you, and you are equipped to bless and serve others (Rom. 15:14; 1 Cor. 12: 14-19). We often think mentorship works only one way, but the truth is, the mentor also receives mentorship and encouragement from the disciple! Mentorship always works both ways. We receive care when we mentor others.

3. Be active in church life. It is in the context of regular church gatherings that we can see, help, and be helped by specific people in following Christ (Heb. 10:24-25). Your thoughtful questions, your fresh insights, your zeal for God, and even your failures and mistakes can be powerful tools in helping others.

4. Look for genuine faith. Too often the question of mentorship is viewed through the lens of success, fame, and charisma of the mentor rather than their faith. But Scripture gives a completely different criterion for who to imitate:

“Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you’re the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.” (Heb. 13:7)

5. Trust only Scripture. The sad, but true reality is that often mentorship happens with closed Bibles. We must remember that no mentor can change us! Only the living Word of God can! When seeking a mentor, look for someone who doesn’t close the Bible in your presence. And during meetings, don’t close the Word of God (2 Tim. 3:16-17; Heb. 4:12). People can be wrong, and your mentor will make mistakes, but God’s Word is infallible!

6. Understand the temporary nature of things. In real life, very few disciples-mentor relationships last a lifetime, though we sometimes think they should. We need to realistically understand that the relationships we are building now are temporary! We are only together for a season. The best example of Jesus Himself – after a time, he left His disciples so that they could go and make more disciples!

7. Become a mentor yourself. All of us tend to look at those around us and expect care from them. But what if you are already in a position to mentor others, and it’s time to stop searching for a mentor! “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matt. 7:12). If you are interested in mentorship, it doesn’t always mean that you need to find a mentor for yourself—it may very well mean that it is time for you to start investing in others!

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. ¹¹ Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. ¹² For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. ¹³ Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

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